This is more of a “what if” piece, but its inspired by losing a loved one for my own stupid decisions, choosing to put unnecessary addictions before them. I’ve never crashed a car, I can’t drive, but I’ve smoked too many cigarettes, finished too many bottles of whisky by myself and played too many rounds of blackjack for me to blame anyone for leaving me for a better life. Still, the heart breaks the same. Enjoy the poem.

My ex moved on,
Fuck it I pulled a blackjack
She could have been mine
But she went and got her ex back
It made me happy to watch her crumble
Didn’t boast about it, kept it humble
Let her fall apart because I caused the scars
Now she’s got a child and a life together
Weigh up options, pull another card
Hide another scar, buy out another bar
Light a cigarette, crash another car
But it was never going to last
I’d been in control until she broke my heart
Because all I want to do is pull another card
Hide another scar, buy out a fucking bar
Light a cigarette, and crash another car


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